yosefblog

If I could be someone else for one day, I would choose to be you, dear reader, and the day would be today. Nothing is more futile than one’s attempt to approximate his entire existence by a few pages of essays, except perhaps another’s attempt to extract a complete image from those essays, and judge his character therein. The advantage to myself would be clear, as I would render a favorable decision based upon the reading of my application essays, and deliver that recommendation to the admissions committee.

I would not, however, be the only beneficiary. You, dear reader, would yourself benefit in great measure, but the degree to which would depend upon the nature of the transformation in question. Your proposal does not specify the character or mechanism by which the change would transpire, so for the sake of brevity, I will limit the purview of the discussion to those mechanisms clearly detailed in the great canon of body switch movies released in the year 1988.
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if you were looking for one of these for you own breakfast table, here’s the scoop.

the server was messed up and not allowing posts. should be fixed now. let me know if there are any problemos. gracias.

Oh Rupert! Rupert Swidhelm, my dearest apprentice! How was it sharing the shallow grave of the good Mrs. Honeyspoon’s garden with those before you? Like Lazarus, however, you have risen and come back to me. If you could press your boyish ear to my chest you would hear the gallop of a thousand horses! You do realize, however, that you being alive and well has soiled the conclusion of “our” consumable poisons study. The Society of American Toxicant Research will be none too pleased to be obligated to publish yet another corrected edition of their reputable Journal- Appropriately and regrettably to be titled “The Society of American Toxicant Research Journal: Amended Fraudulent W.C. MacDougall Research Edition IX”. Perhaps you could spare me the humiliation and keep your little come-back a better kept secret than that of the misplaced orphans, I’ll thank you very much. Nevertheless, and as much as I do regret seeing the words “evil” and “wrong” associated with myself and my work, I do appreciate your veiled kind words. Let it be a lesson to all, however, that some men deemed the distribution of smallpox blankets to be “evil” and “wrong”, but how thankful are you to not be sharing your town or, even worse, your wife with an Indian? History will prove you naysayers, skeptics and cads to be “wrong” in both cases! If there is one lesson further that I have learned from any of this, it is that I will be sure to persuade Mrs. Honeyspoon to no longer cultivate tulips.

Back to you, my boy. As a direct result of a failed attempt to capture the departing civilized soul in a bell jar by means of foot-peddled vacuum and necromantic smoke, there happens to be a vacant orderly position at the W.C. MacDougall Sanitarium for Consumptives and Non-Curables. Please say you’ll have it.

Fondly,
Dr. W.C. MacDougall, MD

when was the last time you wondered how the light gun for duck hunt works? okay, it’s been a few years, but wouldn’t you still like to know?.

On an August morning in 1978, French filmmaker Claude Lelouch mounted a gyro-stabilized camera to the bumper of a Ferrari 275 GTB and had a friend, a professional Formula 1 racer, drive at breakneck speed through the heart of Paris. The film was limited for technical reasons to 10 minutes; the course was from Porte Dauphine, through the Louvre, to the Basilica of Sacre Coeur.

No streets were closed, for Lelouch was unable to obtain a permit.

The driver completed the course in about 9 minutes, reaching nearly 140 MPH in some stretches. The footage reveals him running real red lights, nearly hitting real pedestrians, and driving the wrong way up real one-way streets.

Upon showing the film in public for the first time, Lelouch was arrested. He has never revealed the identity of the driver.

Watch “C’etait un Rendezvous” (large download).

spike jones gap commercial. don’t we all feel like doing that to gap sometimes? (from ad-awards, who shows you how advertising should be done.)

yesterday a hero, today a fool. Steven Levitt should write a paper on the incentives of publishing academic papers, and rebuttals thereof.

Well well well, look who’s the birthday boy today!

That’s right Thuaniacs, WALT DISNEY, the father of cartoonery and rides slower than a Furvormunerian post office line turned 104 today! Why, he’s catching up to my nephew! Happy Birthday Walt! What an amazing honor it must be to share the day with the cutie patootie child star of stage and screen FRANKIE MUNIZ!!!

Frankie is Tinseltown’s boy wonder who will celebrate his big day zipping around town in the LAMBORGHINI COUNTACH he bought himself at the age of 14! Set the table with the finest china and preheat the oven to FUN… I smell DUI tonight!!!

And what better way to celebrate his own big day than today’s last birthday boy singing to himself in his deep, sexy and always cool as ice voice? Ladies and Gentlemen, please join me in the extremely distinguished honor of wishing MORGAN J. FREEMAN a VERY Happy Birthday!

Looking good Morgan! You don’t have to call me MISS DAISY, but you can drive me ANYWHERE!

Well, it looks like I have some parties to get to! But don’t worry, I’ll be MACARENAING all the way to my next column! See you then!

wow. confirmation hearings are tough enough when you’re a perfect specimen, imagine trying to explain why you failed the bar. boy, she must be stupid!

(seriously, though, the argument that the test is flawed is BS. if she’s so smart, she should know what the “test” would think the right answer is)