I’m trapped by the Undertow… and it couldn’t be more fabulous!
Surf’s up… in San Antonio Texas? WHAAAAAT?!?! San Antonio is nowhere near an ocean, you say? Well sir, there’s certainly a current running down Nicholas Cage Honorary Boulevard and you are sure to get pulled in by the UNDERTOW! That’s right, Undertow, the city’s new, ultra-fabulous, sparkling clean, super-swanky lounge and night club. But don’t worry, this Undertow won’t kill you! [Editor’s Note: Mass consumption of alcohol may indeed kill you]
BLUE tinted lights, BLUE glass bar fronts, BLUE stained faux-wood floors, BLUE posturepedic bar stools, BLUE leather door, BLUE liquored drinks, BLUE shirted bartenders, BLUE, BLUE, BLUE, BLUE, BLUE, BLUE, BLUE! BLUE is the new blue at Undertow! BLUE!
From the moment you step into Undertow, you’ll feel as if you have entered Poseidon’s swinging futuristic bachelor pad. Turn up the trans music, turn down the mood lighting, unbutton your shirt a little more, grab a Blue Wave (Undertow’s signature drink) and CHILL! You’ll be the socialite of San Antonio at Undertow- where the city’s brightest stars go to glamorously unwind, to glamorously be seen and to glamorously snort coke off the tops of urinals! [Editors Note: In now way do we endorse the use of cocaine- a debilitating, illegal and extremely addictive drug]
Beautiful people, beautiful drinks and beautiful atmosphere. I have one word for you: NO, it’s not “BLUE”, if that’s what you were thinking… it’s “CLASSY”! I give Undertow an unprecedented six out of four Marilyn Monroe’s… and that means FABULOUS!
Sure, if you dip a single toe into the Sea of Furvormuneria your skin will be eaten away from your bones in a matter of minutes, but in San Antonio Texas, don’t be afraid of UNDERTOW!