Celebrity Fashion Faux Pas II…Hasidic Edition!
Dred locks in the beard? How grody!
Rabbi Joel Kahan, you’ll have to forgive me for not wanting to run my fingers through your yud-gimmel tikunei dikno (13 Attributes of Mercy a/k/a Strands of the Celestial Beard) but I’m afraid I’ll have to pass this time for fear of a sprained wrist! Look out Matisyahu! Here comes the real Hassidic Reggae and this time its gezhe (of old-guard Chabad pedigree)! Perhaps the Cheif Oral Scribe could author his own discourse entitled “L’Hovin HoInyon Shel CONDITIONER” (To understand the idea of conditioner)!
For tips on proper facial hair grooming for the contemporary Hassid, please take a look at that dreamy Georgian hunk, Professor Simon Jacobson of Toward a Meaningful Life fame. Doesn’t his salt-and-pepper beard just glisten! His anvil jaw just means a greater palate on which to lavishly spread that stunning pelt! Take my breath away, Simon! And shame on you, Rabbi Kahan! I’m sorry, but I just couldn’t seem to find “poor grooming” in my Sefer Minhagim (Book of Chabad Customs)! You’ve got only yourself to blame for that.
May 31st, 2005 at 1:42 am
Ok, dudes. Let’s get this settled: Is Joel Kahn a chassidic model, or a dudeskee who repeas the chassidic masters’ wprds as best he could? Make up your effing minds, bastards!
May 31st, 2005 at 3:07 pm
Your post is utterly incoherent (apparently written after the over-consumption of malt liquor.)
May 31st, 2005 at 4:49 pm
and apparently written just before drunk dialing me at 1am los angeles time and calling me an asshole. there was obviously a lot on your mind last night.
i kind of like dovid better when he’s drunk… which, lately, seems to be always.
cheers to the drunken, brash dovid! drink up broski!
June 1st, 2005 at 7:04 pm
By the way, Jono (or any one else who may be in the know):
What were Julian Thuan’s reactions to this post?
June 1st, 2005 at 8:36 pm
I actually found the dude on the right busted. Kahn is like, “You are so busted dude, I saw you do XYZ.”
And he’s all, “Vat, vat, I vaz totally innocent. I just happened to be there when the whole thing started.”
Wo, do I actually talk like that?
June 1st, 2005 at 10:08 pm
1 entry found for grody.
Main Entry: grody
Part of Speech: adjective
Definition: disgusting, yukky; extremely unpleasant or sleazy
Example: The college students lived in a grody apartment. Or Dr. Kahn has a grody beard.
Etymology: alteration of grotesque
Usage: slang
Source: Webster’s New Millennium™ Dictionary of English, Preview Edition (v 0.9.6)
Copyright © 2003-2005 Lexico Publishing Group, LLC
June 2nd, 2005 at 12:49 am
Seeing as Furvormunerians are completely hairless, I know NOTHING about beards. But I will say one thing- that Rabbi Joel Kahan sure knows how to clean his chicken bones! What a CHAZER!
On an unrelated, yet still hygenic note:
I’ve trancended space and time to come to you people and in the brief time I have been here I’ve learned to take my suits to the DRY CLEANERS… what’s the Planetary Elder on the right’s excuse?