salutations
greetings my primitive friends. won’t you welcome me to yosefblog? i am julian than (pictured above), the child of light and beauty, a fervormunerian. i have developed the ability to transcend time and space to post my thoughts to you… with my mind. unlike you, i need no keyboard. i need no computer. i need no 56k internet connection. i need nothing but my own ability to create the reality in which you all live. i can see all of cyberspace in the blink of an eye, and have chosen to enlighten you of all peoples, my beautiful yosefbloggers, to a life quite unlike anything you ten-per centers are capable of understanding. forgive me for not telephoning you all, but my angelic voice would reverberate so strongly within your insubstantial skulls that your heads would explode. this is the one and only disadvantage of being a child of light and beauty. but soon, my children, a day will come when i sing to you all. i welcome you to ask me any question, about me or, more importantly, about yourself- for the one who knows you best is i, julian than, the child of light and beauty. allow me to unlock for you the puzzles of your existence- for once you have been enlightened, you too can join me as a fervormunerian. when that day comes, you will understand the significance of this moment in time- which, in actuality, is the only moment in time that exists. end transmission.
April 28th, 2005 at 9:14 am
Are you just Sinéad O’Connor in disguise? [and given fresh verve in light of your recent vindication, e.g. the death of the pope]
April 28th, 2005 at 11:18 am
please do not mock me. i am here to help you. [but to answer your question; i am indeed sinead o'connor AND the pope. do not worry, you will understand some day.]
April 28th, 2005 at 1:27 pm
welcome, strange being. i will do my best to learn all you will teach.
April 28th, 2005 at 9:15 pm
Miss Thuan! Doug Simons here, and you still owe me sixty bucks! We had a bet, and I won fair and square!
Also, as long as you’re ready to answer questions, a might as well ask: Can you do something about my back pain? Thanks in adbvance. And why are those frogs exploding?
-Doug Simons
PS. Don’t think I’m not mad! I just have a parodixical admiration/fierce-hatred relationship with you.
April 29th, 2005 at 10:22 am
***INCOMING TRANSMISSION - PLEASE STANDBY***
Mr. Thuan. Twelve Ex (12-x) ready for communication. The board is extremely/mildly upset/pleased with your/my/the-head-elder’s behavior/appearance/odor/use-of-curse-words/abuse-of-all-powerfulness. Action must/shall-not be taken immediately. You’re speedy reply is mandetory/would be kinda cool.
***TRANSMISSION OVER***
April 29th, 2005 at 5:47 pm
twelve ex,
thank you for finding me- especially in my current intangible state- and informing me of this development. i have had premonitions of the elimination of all life throughout the universe caused by our collective neglect to simply think of the element of carbon. you can understand my concern that i/you/children of light and beauty/the fervormunerians would be capable of doing this considering that we are indeed the children of darkness and chaos. please consult the bureau of communal obliteration to stop myself from committing such an atrocity.
Furthermore, do you happen to have the number of our attorney martin greenberg? It seems that i am entering into quite a messy legal situation/future malpractice suit with doug simons. who would have known that a ten-percenter could create fire from the emotion called anger, or that i/we were capable of snapping a man’s spine with my breath? i think marty could seriously get me out of this one- like my d.u.i.
falcumasae,
julian thuan
child of light and beauty
May 2nd, 2005 at 3:23 pm
Purple.
I am/we are/you are/the head elder is very thankful for my/your/skippy’s suggestion of harnessing the element of carbon to avoid the complete and utter destrction of the universe, redulting in absence of all existence and a messy clean up job for the furvormunerians. Your/my/skippy’s words have been heard and action has already been taken/however, we will choose to ignore your words, despite the almost certain destruction that will follow (the clean up job might provide a much needed bonding experience for the fervormunerians).
Silkworm,
Twelve Ex (6x(18/9))
November 18th, 2006 at 2:17 am
Is Julian Thuan really your name? It seems to me that “Thuan” is a first name. I’m guessing if you’re truly asian you would know this. PS. If this is not your name, I suggest you try a new “nomer” as this one belongs to a reputable agent in LA. I doubt he appreciates you masquerading as him in order to get people to read your reviews.